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Heaven

I've never been particularly interested in the concept of an afterlife. There's just too much to do here, and in fact, getting a nice long rest seems a lot more appealing than being reunited with all my dead relatives and hanging around for eternity. But now I'm thinking that if such a place exists, Walter will be waiting right inside the entrance for me, with his eyes shining and his tongue hanging out, doing his you're-home-you're-home-you're-home dance with his stumpy tail sticking straight up and wiggling, and his expression that says "Now we can have some fun!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you bring a stick?"

Walter

Walter_in_the_weeds
1991-2007



He was a good dog.

Books, books, books

After we finished watching the first season of Rome, that big blowsy soap opera, I hunted up my copy of Suetonius' The Twelve Caesars, which is sort of on the history-lite side, to check on how accurate my impressions of the accuracy of the series were. Suetonius is fun and easy to read, and I have a special fondness for him, having read him in 1983 on the beach in Fort Lauderdale. (I was wearing a plain one-piece bathing suit, while drunken coeds in bikinis and frat boys in shorts with the hems of their underpants hanging out below pranced around me in the sand, and I felt very superior.)

Suetonius focuses quite a lot on the personality and reputation of his subjects, and as I read, it became clear that the characters in the series were largely based on Suetonius' descriptions of Julius and Augustus Caesar. This made me wonder about other sources, both primary and secondary, and one thing led to another and eventually I went looking for my college copy of Cary's classic History of Rome. I looked high (literally; our bookshelves go up to the ceiling) and low (also literally, as they go down to the floor) as well as in between. It wasn't until later that I remembered that my brother Karl is teaching a high school class on ancient history this year and I had "helped" him, first by talking his ear off about my favorite ancient things, and then by dropping off several grocery bags full of carefully selected books at his house when no one was home.

This led me to another mystery. The books at Karl's house are core members of my library. How, then, is it possible that there are no spaces in the bookshelves where those volumes belong? And, moreover, that there is not a single inch of shelf space remaining, and in fact books are stacked up in vertical piles in front of the books on the shelves, and also on the floor? All this is made yet more curious by the fact that since I took those books over to Karl's, many of my usual sources have been dry: Afterwords on Main Street is (tragically) gone, the bookshop of the Friends of the Ann Arbor District Library was closed for months under a cloud, and I missed AAUW's Book Sale Bag Day this year. Where could all these books have come from?

I don't know where they came from, but I know where they can go, at least the ones that might be of use: to the Camel Book Drive. This wonderful project brings books—on camelback—to the remote areas of northeastern Kenya.  They are looking for appropriate books in English or Somali. As it happens, I don't have a single boook in Somali, but I'm going to put together a box of English books and send it off, so take a look at their website and if you have anything they can use, bring it over to my house and I'll send it for you. Alternatively, they have an Amazon Wish List.

 

Mostly about the dog

We've all been moping around coughing and blowing our noses all weekend. Yes, we have colds. But how lucky we are that a cold is such an inconsequential thing, requiring only ginger tea and chicken soup as palliatives, and patience until it is over.

In the meantime, Walter is now just skin and bones and diaper. He stumbles and slides around the house, having lost a lot of control of his legs. He can get upstairs by himself, but if we don't notice when he wants to go down again, he'll attempt it on his own, which most often ends in a tumble down the stairs (actually, he slides down butt-first, and seems to be completely unfazed by the experience). But he still eats with gusto (most comfortably, while he's lying down, Roman-style), and he likes to be with us and to be petted and hugged. He's not quite ready to give it all up. And I haven't explored my feelings deeply enough to know if I'm ready to let him go.

A few months ago, for the first time ever, Walter got skunked. He was blissfully snacking on compost, I think, and so was the skunk. I'm sure the skunk noticed Walter, and stamped his or her feet and hissed and raised his or her tail, and gave him ample warning to back off, buster. And I'm equally sure that Walter was utterly oblivious to the presence of any other creature on the compost pile until he got hit full in the face with skunk spray. Poor old guy. Even after several trips to the Dog-o-Mat for their special anti-skunk rinse, he was still pretty darn stinky, and it's only recently that he's gotten back a little of his toasty smell.

A valentine

Joe made a beautiful valentine for me and Henry. It has drawings of ribbons and hearts, including one with a zingy halo sort of thing, and this lovely poem:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love you,
And your work shoes.

Signed, Joe, your baby

Snow

When our winter was weirdly warm, last month, it was delightful, but in that doomed sort of way, where you know that you are taking pleasure from something that is just wrong and you are bound to suffer from later. Like eating fried food. And indeed, I feel much more comfortable now that the weather is bitterly cold and I am miserable, and the natural order of February is restored. And although it’s horrible now, we did have that gorgeous ice storm to set the season off, followed by days of soft white snow drifting down like cottony confetti. So beautiful, and so peaceful.

It seemed like the right time to start reading Orhan Pamuk's Snow (In Turkish, Kar). Orhan Pamuk is one of those writers whom I can't read much of the time; to enjoy his work, I need a particular convergence of mind state, weather, other activities, and patience.  But what better time than in the snow to read Snow?

What attracted me to this book, other than the weather and my general turcophilia, was the fact that it takes place in the forlorn Anatolian city of Kars, over a few days of snowbound isolation, trapped in this city to the far eastern edge of Turkey.

I am not sure I understood the novel, but I truly did understand why Pamuk chose to set it in melancholy Kars. I have been to Kars. I went there because—and this is the only reason foreigners travel there—it is the closest town to the abandoned medieval city of Ani, a beautiful ruined place of crumbling Armenian churches, caravanserai, and mosques that was a stop on the fabled Silk Road.

Ani sits on a bluff, below which a chilly river winds, and across the river is another country—now Armenia, but when I was there, it was still the Soviet Union, and for that reason it was necessary to request police authorization to visit the site, and to be accompanied by a licensed guide. No cameras were permitted there, no eating, no staring across the river, and no pointing. My companion George and I stood quietly and admired the tiny stone churches, and surreptitiously glanced at the other side of the river, where soldiers with rifles kept an eye on us from wooden watchtowers. The fields on the other side were glowing green and the river rushed deep below in the gorge, and I felt I had come to the very end of the earth and there was no farther for me to go.

After visiting Ani, we planned to move on, but I fell ill with some sort of flu, and we were stuck there in our tiny hotel room for several more days. I had a fever and felt almost delirious. George searched the city and somehow managed to find the only jar of Vicks Vap-O-Rub in all of eastern Anatolia. I got better, and we left for Ararat, which seemed oddly staid after Kars in delerium.

I understood Kars, and I also understood the snow. Falling snow creates an otherworld that is intimate and restful, but that keeps us distant. Like great beauty, it is for looking at and admiring, but not for being. Snow insulates and tucks us in, and makes us feel safe inside; it exhilirates when we go out, but soon it grows dangerous; there is always the siren call of warm sleep, which in the soft snow leads to death.

I was once on a fishing ship at night in winter in Alaska. One night, I watched as snow fell gently into the tiny island of the ship, appearing suddenly in the light from the black sky in white drifting flakes, sparkling as it fell. Some of it chanced to rest on the railings and riggings of the ship. But most of it danced and drifted on into the black, black sea that surrounded the ship, and was melted in an instant.

Boys and cars

It's another snow day, because of the cold; apparently they couldn't get most of the school buses to start this morning. Joe is home, wearing his medal from Saturday's Cub Scout Pinewood Derby.

I should explain that every cub scout in the race got a medal, because, of course, they are all special. On the other hand, I still have my medal from the 1993 Danskin Triathlon, which I got just for participating (I think I came in somewhere around 437th out of 500), and it makes me feel proud (because I did it!) and guilty (because I've been a slug ever since then), so/but I keep it.

Anyway, despite our misgivings about peewee paramilitary indoctrination, Joe is a Cub Scout this year. So far, he seems safely oblivious to the military—or indeed, organizational—aspects of it, and of course the Ann Arbor scouts are not so brown-shirty.

One of the annual cub scout activities is the Pinewood Derby car race, a putative "celebrated rite of spring." Uh huh. At the Winter Holiday Party, each scout receives a "pinewood derby car kit," which turns out to be four plastic wheels, four nails, and a block of wood. Over the next few den meetings, dads bring power tools and sandpaper and help the kids shape and paint the cars however they want. Most of the scouts were working on Batmobiles, Formula One race cars, Ferraris, space shuttles, and the like. Joe decided he wanted his to look like a really great car—a Ford Taurus wagon, which he painted a French country mustard yellow.

Then they race the cars against each other. Joe's Taurus wagon did not do too badly, actually, being only a second slower than the fastest car. He was a little disappointed that it didn't win, but when Henry pointed out that racing speed and quality was commensurate to the amount of time spent working on the car, Joe apparently decided that time would be better spent tap dancing anyway, and, other than the medal, we haven't heard anything more about racing cars.